Back home watching football on the couch!

Well, I thought I should take a break from watching my umteenth hour of football and say Happy New Year to people. I hope everyone had a safe and fantastic night as 2010 came rolling in. I wish everyone the best year ever. Casey and the boys spent the night at Steve and Kate's house with another friend, April, and her kids. I'm sure they had a blast, how could 5 boys with noise makers and poppers not have fun - even if it was only 9 pm (heck, it was midnight on the east coast). I was out by 9:30 myself. I slept from 9:30 pm to 8 am. I hadn't slept more than 4 hours without being awakened in the past 3 weeks. I think my body thinks I was playing a trick on it. I'm going to do the same tonight, so my brain will know I wasn't kidding.

I checked out of the hospital yesterday at around 4:30 pm, so I'm finally home at my mom's house. It feels great to be 'out,' and back where I can breath the outdoor air. Nineteen days without taking a breath of fresh air - the things you take for granted. My mom picked me up and on the way home we made a quick stop at the Bronsons just to give the kids and Casey a hug and say hi to Kate, who has been so amazingly helpful! I don't think we can ever thank them enough. You should have seen the look on Jack Bronson's face (he's Jack K's age) when I walked in the door. He briefly looked like he'd seen a ghost, very cute. He's not used to seeing Uncle Mike with no hair.

We then headed to mom's. I think I realized last night and today that, no matter how quickly I hoped I would bounce back, my recovery is going to be long, it's not going to happen in a week. Last night I got some more stomach pains, felt very fatigued, and had some weakness in my legs. The leg thing really weighs me down. It's kind of like when my MS symptoms flare up, you get weakness, some tingling, and a few spasms in lower legs. They felt I would have some of these "MS" problems when my cells were coming in, as it sounds like most everyone in the study did. Since I hadn't had any yet, I hoped I'd skirted them, but maybe not. What's nice is that they usually last a week or two when I get them, but they have improved throughout the day today - so that's good. I'm having no nausea per se, but the stomach 'aching' is a bit uncomfortable. It really waxes and wanes and the worst part is it makes it hard to eat well, which is a big priority for me now. But, I felt better in the middle of the day today, so I'm just going with the flow, knowing there are going to be plenty of ups and downs.

The big wake up calls that are prodding me towards finding my patience again are the many things I still have to attend to daily as I work towards recovery. Daily appts for blood work at the Cancer Care Alliance, clinical appts to follow a few times per week, a big handful of medications everyday (so many, I really don't need breakfast), still hooking up at home to IV fluids (hydration) for 4 hours a day, and needing to rest or I get pretty worn out.

But, there is a bright side, and it far outweighs the discomforts. I am doing very well compared to most people who have this procedure, I am home, I have great support and help, I am looking forward to getting out and walking in a week or so (Sharon, Casey, Diane, John, anyone else), I am past what I feel is the toughest part (chemo, post-chemo, cell engraftment), I am unbelievable lucky and grateful that I was given this opportunity to kick some MS butt (we'll see down the road I guess), and very hopeful that I have given the ultimate gift to myself and my family. Well, you better ask them if the 'gift of Mike' is a good one, but I'm betting they'd say "Yes!" So, I'm going to do my part, work hard to get stronger, and accept and settle-in for the things I have no control over.

I am really looking forward to sitting on the couch with Casey, touching our toes together under a blanket, eating some popcorn, and watching a movie - it's been so long. She still hasn't seen The Hangover, so hopefully that'll be the one we watch because it would be good to laugh out loud for two hours and forget about the last couple of months. I think we deserve it.

Happy 2010! Big hug to everyone, Mike